When I can't decide

I feel like I'm in this weird waiting zone in life right now.  I have so many decisions to make and I don't feel close to a resolution on any of them.  I keep mulling over the options in my mind.  This gets me nowhere because I have the gift/curse of being able to see all sides of any given issue.  Just as I feel like I have convinced myself of a decision the other side rears it's head and I'm confused and undecided once again.

This morning I open my "Jesus Calling" devotional by Sarah Young and here is what I read:
"Save your best striving for seeking My face.  I am constantly communicating with you.  To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else.  Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol.  When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness.  Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it.  Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it form My perspective.  If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it.  If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart.  Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece."

Wow!  God's timing is always so perfect!  I realize that I must seek God first.  In all of the decisions on my plate right now I had not sought God's counsel.  I had not even considered asking God to guide my choices.  After reading this I prayed and asked God for guidance.  I apologized for jumping into so many ventures without first seeking Him.  I asked that He would help me to sort out all of the options that lay before me at this time.  He immediately answered me by laying scripture on my heart.  I heard that still small voice respond "Let My peace be an umpire for you.  Let it decide what is in and what is out in your life.  Follow My peace."  I searched for this verse and found: Colossians3:15 "And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live].  And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]." (Amplified Bible)

God is so faithful!  I must praise Him and thank Him for all He does in my life.  I may not have all the answers to my questions just yet but I am content in knowing that the peace of Christ will guide me.  I will follow that peace and trust that God will make my paths straight.  Is there a decision in your life that you feel confused and restless about?  I pray that you would seek Him first and trust He is guiding your steps.  You don't need to worry for one more minute!  Seek Him.

I will leave you with this verse:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs3:5-6

 

"Food" for Thought

Numbers11:4-6

^"The rabble who were among them had greedy desires; and also the sons of Israel wept again and said, “Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna.” NASB

I read this and think, "God strike them dead! Strike them dead right now!"  How ungrateful! How selfish! How #@$&!!!  I get angry when I read this.  How dare they complain about how God chooses to provide for them!  God has delivered them from slavery in Egypt!  He freed them!  He has shown them miracles and is leading them through the desert and RAINING DOWN MANNA FROM THE SKKKKY!  But, that's not enough for them!  They have to compare what God is giving to them to what they had while in slavery?? My mind just can't comprehend their attitudes.

Then God whispers to me "are you not the same?" My heart sinks as I realize I do this repeatedly in my own life!  God delivered me from the slavery and bondage of sin.  He freed me to live a new life in Christ!  Yet,  I still grumble and complain!  I still have the audacity to question how God chooses to provide for me!  I am guilty of missing the life I had in slavery and often reminisce about the luxuries I had before Christ freed me.  I used to be able to party.  I used to be able to dress however I wanted.  I used to be able to cuss.  I used to be able to sin without being aware of my sin.  Ignorance was bliss.  I can often get caught up in those ungrateful thoughts and think "God why did you even save me?  This life is so much harder!  I was better off in slavery."

Once again God has used His word to bring my sin to the surface so that I can face it and deal with it.  The verse that comes to mind is Hebrews4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."  His word has cut me straight to the heart this morning.  I realize that I am no different than the Israelites.  This saddens me.  My heart breaks knowing that I behave this way.  That I have forgotten all God has delivered me from.  That I complain at all when He has showed me great love and mercy and grace.  He has pulled me out of the pit of addiction and placed me high on the rock and given me a firm place to stand!*  I am so thankful that God has shown me the sin in my heart because only then am I able to repent and turn from my own selfish and sinful nature.

Let this Psalm be the prayer of my heart this morning:

"The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.
 The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.
 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether.
 They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.
 Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;
In keeping them there is great reward.
 Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
 Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be ^[e]blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalm19:7-14

*Psalm40:2