Practice makes perfect? no. just. no.

Practice makes perfect.

I absolutely hate this expression... and here's why.

1.  It implies that perfection exists.

As I stated in my last post I do not believe perfection is a real thing.  The sooner you realize that there's no such thing as perfection the sooner you can relax and just be... imperfections and all.

2.  It creates an unattainable goal for children.

Unfortunately, this phrase is often geared at kids.

Little Johnny keeps striking out at his baseball game and his well intentioned Dad tells him, "Keep practicing son, 'practice makes perfect'".

Little Suzy has trouble mastering "Mary had a Little Lamb" on the piano and her Mother tries to encourage her, "Practice makes perfect!".

This sends the child the message that perfection could be reached if only they would try harder.

3. It's a lie.

No amount of practice will ever make you perfect.

............................

As much as I loath the idea of perfection as a goal I do love the sentiment behind this statement.

Practice.  Don't give up.  Keep on keeping on.

Those are all things I believe in.

Let's just change the last little word.

Practice makes perfect progress.

Yes, I like that.

Practice makes PROGRESS.

Progress is real and it's enough.

Not giving up and trying again, even when it's hard, will surely get you progress and that's the very most we can ask for.

Good Reads

Reading is my favorite.

Here are a couple of my all time favorites and recent reads that I highly recommend.

Enjoy!

Though Waters Roar

This is a fiction novel I read a few months back.  This gripping tale about faith and a woman's ever changing "place" in this world was one I could not put down.  From prohibition to feminism this book opened my eyes to many perspectives I had never considered.  I realized how far women have come and how far we still have to go.  This book helped me see that laws won't change us, only WE can change us.

The Way the Crow Flies

This is one of my all time favorite books!!!  I have read this book over and over and over again and every single time I laugh, cry and get angry as if it's the first time I've read it.  It's a story of abuse and how that manifests itself in the victims adult life.  Love love love this book!!!

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

I'm currently falling more in love with Brene' Brown every day.  To say that I have a lady crush on her is putting it mildly.  I am in the process of reading this book.  It's one of those books that you can only read like a chapter a month of because it brings so much emotional baggage to the forefront of your mind that you might have a complete mental breakdown if you read it all at once.  With that being said, it's totally worth every emotional outburst.  Growth involves pain... right?

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

This is another all time favorite.  I read this book again whenever I see those traits of codependency creeping their ugly little heads back into my life.  If you have trouble not obsessing over other people than this is definitely the book for you!

10 things I believe

1.  Love is greater.

It's the name of my blog and my deepest belief.  The longer I live the deeper I believe it.  There is nothing stronger or more powerful than love.  It is the greatest gift we can give others and the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

2.  Don't assume, but if you must, at least assume the best.

God laid this on my heart in a Smith's parking lot a few years back.  I have come a long way from the days of obsessing over everyones intentions and motives towards me but I still have quite a way to go.  I suppose some of that comes with age.  The older I get the less I give a hairy rats ass what other people think of me.  It's just easier to assume the best.  Trust me.

3.  You'll never find your own voice singing someone else's song. 

This is also a thought that God spoke straight to my heart.  The meaning for me is two fold.  On one hand I have always had a passion for singing and song writing but no self confidence to carry out that dream.  I started singing in front of few people in the last year and it feels good.  I think God was trying to tell me that in order to find my own voice musically I need to focus on writing my own music instead of mimicking other artists.  Finding my own style, so to speak.  The second meaning is for life in general.  I will never find out who I am if I'm busy trying to be like everybody else.  I am unique.  Everyone is.  (Which I used to think meant no one is but whatev... we're all unique.)  The more I embrace what makes me me the less shame and guilt I feel for not being someone else.  I am a beautiful mess loved by a perfect God for exactly the quirky, nerdy, disaster that I am.  I think that's finally enough for me.

4.  Drugs are bad mmmmkay... unless they're prescribed by a Doctor.

One word: Zoloft.

5.  If you listen, people will tell you who they are.

I have wasted too many years on friendships with people I don't like thinking that they aren't really the type of person their actions represent.  When people show you their character and who they are as a person: 1. believe them. 2. realize you can't change them. and 3. accept them as is and decide whether they are someone who fits in your life or not. (and be ok with yourself if they aren't)

6.  Cleanliness is nowhere near godliness.

A spotless home and well put together outfits don't make you better than anyone. ever. period. got it?

7.  Perfection has a price.

There is no such thing as perfect.  I didn't know that for a long time.  I tried really hard to be that and believe me it came at a high price.  I was lonely, angry, resentful and unhappy.  My house was clean, my dinner was made from scratch when I invited you to dinner and my kids never talked back but I was ugly inside.  Let perfection go.  You can't ever reach it anyways and trying to steals your joy.  It's not worth it.

8.  Peace is only found in the present.

"If you're depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you're at peace, you're living in the present." -Lao Tzu

9.  Stay in your own lane.

Too often we can spend so much time projecting our issues onto those around us and worrying about what everyone else should and should not be doing.  I have been very guilty of this over the years.  It's much easier to fix someone else, judge someone else and correct someone else than it is to do something about my own issues.  If I would put into action even 10% of the unsolicited advice I give others my life would probably look drastically different.  Let's stay in or own lane shall we and worry about our own issues before we go "saving" other people.

10.  Trust your gut.

If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't.  I have ignored my gut to my own demise many times.  As a victim of childhood sexual abuse I learned to doubt my own feelings and ability to judge good from bad.  My therapist tells me that she notices it's not that I don't have the ability to judge a situation accurately it's that I lack the confidence to trust myself and act on those gut instincts.  I'm working on it.

Licks equal love.

I am a cat lady at heart.

I completely expected myself to be single with no kids and 8+ cats at this point in my life.

Buuut, here I am married with 3 kids and a DOG.

I never had a problem with dogs, per say.  I just never wanted one of my own.  I always thought I would be a horrible dog owner. I don't enjoy being jumped on or licked to death.  I need my alone time and dogs like to follow you like a shadow.  I'm a horrible disciplinarian and didn't want some Dog Whisperer worthy "out of control" pet.

I always knew that someday the kids would start asking for a dog.... and they did.  It started a couple of years ago.  Luckily for me, kids have the attention span of a spider monkey so I got out of it by sheer forgetfulness on their part... for awhile.  Once Brandon started wanting a dog too I knew I had little time left before I would have to cave in.  I had to face the music and become a dog owner!

We found our puppy through a friend of mine in Fresno, Ca.

Waiting to pick him up I started to worry that I wouldn't be able to love him.  I feared that having a dog would add to my battle with depression and anxiety.  On one hand I was excited to meet this cute little pug whose picture I looked at daily.  On the other hand I was terrified I would be a horrible "pack leader" and my life would change for the worse.

I have never been more wrong in my life.

The minute I met my sweet Crosby boy I knew he was meant to be mine.  He was meant to be a part of this family.  He just belonged with us!!!

First, let me say that we totally lucked out.  We got a PERFECT dog!  I mean it.  He came to us about 7 months old, fully house trained and cuddly as can be.  He was not leash trained but he is getting better everyday.  He does have some anxiety but hey I'm the queen of anxiety so we get each other.  And as weird as it sound I think we make each other better.  Calmer.  Happier.

Well, today I thought I might lose it all.

Today was Crosby's first vet appointment.  Everything went great until later that day.

He had a nasty allergic reaction to his rabies vaccine.

It started mildly and escalated quickly.

I rushed him back to the animal hospital.  On the drive he started hard core throwing up and acting strange.  He would no longer respond to me all.

I started bawling and begging God to save my dog.  I have never loved a dog in my life and was shocked at the amount of love and anguish I felt after only knowing this precious boy for two weeks.

The vet decided to keep him for observation until closing and gave him three shots to stop the reaction.  Waiting to pick him back up I was a wreck.  I paced the kitchen and cleaned things.  I felt like my own child was hurting.  I was so worried he wouldn't come home.

But... he did!!!!!

Even as I write this post he is laying beside me licking me so fiercely that I can hardly type and I don't mind because I know to Crosby licks equal love.

My doggy is home.

Tonight I am grateful!

A line in the sand

Is being gay/lesbian/transgendered a sin?

Some Christians would argue that it is a sin and therefore we should avoid contact with them at all costs.  Other Christians would argue that even though it is a sin we should "love the sinner; hate the sin".  A smaller group of Christians would say that they don't believe it is a sin at all... gasp.

What do I think?

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

I think if we are still spending our time trying to determine what we believe about the sinfulness of someone else's life then we have missed the point of Christianity entirely.

As Christians we should be less concerned with labeling things as sin and more concerned with following Christ.  Whether something is sin or not is not the point.  The point is that sin or not the Christians response should be the same.  And that response is love.

Let's put an end to the debate over how God feels about gays and lesbians.  It is irrelevant to our calling.  Jesus calls his followers to love God with their heart, mind and soul; and to love others as he has loved us.  It's that simple.

Let's not forget, church, when the religious Pharisees dragged out a women caught in the act of adultery and threw her before Jesus and the crowd.  They wanted to stone her to death for her sin and according to the law they were clearly within their rights to do so.  So why did they bring her before Jesus if they didn't need His permission?  I believe they wanted to discredit the ministry and authority of Jesus Christ.  They wanted to prove that the law was what saved and not faith.  They were attempting to create a "damned if you do; damned if you don't" situation.  But, Jesus, being God in the flesh saw their hearts and was not tripped up for a moment.  He calmly bent down next to the woman and drew a line in the sand.  Without saying a word in response he stayed kneeled down next to the woman.  When the Pharisees pressed him for an answer he stood and simply replied, "let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone."  Once again he kneeled down next to the woman as, one by one, her accusers left.  When none were left Jesus asks the woman if anyone condemned her.  She looks around and sees that no one did.  He then tells the woman that he does not condemn her either.

Jesus draws a line in the sand and stands on the side of the sinner.

I am not stating that being gay is a sin because I honestly do not know if it is or not.  What I am trying to point out is that it really really really REALLY does not matter if it is or not.

I choose to believe that Jesus meant it when he said that love fulfills the law.  I choose to believe that Jesus does not condemn us.  I choose to believe that it is not my job to judge the world.

I am drawing my line in the sand and standing on the side of love.

Which side of the line will you stand on?

Sticky Rice

Whoever said "necessity is the mother of innovation" sure knew what they were talking about!

If you're a parent I am sure you have experienced the insurmountable mess caused by rice thrown or dropped all over your floor by kids or toddlers.

There are a few ways I would regularly tackle this situation:

1.  Sweep it up.  When the rice is fresh it's sticky.  Attempting to sweep sticky rice is like trying to piss into the wind.  You can do it if you want to but it's undesirable and messy.

2.  Leave it.  To avoid situation number "1" I have often left the rice on the floor until the next morning when it has dried out and can be easily swept up.

3.  Paper towels/wash rag.  You can get a wet towel of some sort and awkwardly try to scoop it up.  I refuse to do this because it involves a lot of bending down and we all know I don't like to work very hard.

I generally choose option "2" but now that we have the dog I need to clean up whatever the kids drop or he will eat it.  Yes, I'm that pet owner that won't let their dog eat scraps.  Get over it.

Well folks I am happy to report that tonight I discovered a new way to pick up rice.  (If you already discovered this then good for you but I'm still taking credit)

So here it is:

Pick up a larger clump of rice.  Use that clump to pick up the rest of the rice.  The rice sticks to itself much like playdough.

You're welcome.

Carry on.