Licks equal love.

I am a cat lady at heart.

I completely expected myself to be single with no kids and 8+ cats at this point in my life.

Buuut, here I am married with 3 kids and a DOG.

I never had a problem with dogs, per say.  I just never wanted one of my own.  I always thought I would be a horrible dog owner. I don't enjoy being jumped on or licked to death.  I need my alone time and dogs like to follow you like a shadow.  I'm a horrible disciplinarian and didn't want some Dog Whisperer worthy "out of control" pet.

I always knew that someday the kids would start asking for a dog.... and they did.  It started a couple of years ago.  Luckily for me, kids have the attention span of a spider monkey so I got out of it by sheer forgetfulness on their part... for awhile.  Once Brandon started wanting a dog too I knew I had little time left before I would have to cave in.  I had to face the music and become a dog owner!

We found our puppy through a friend of mine in Fresno, Ca.

Waiting to pick him up I started to worry that I wouldn't be able to love him.  I feared that having a dog would add to my battle with depression and anxiety.  On one hand I was excited to meet this cute little pug whose picture I looked at daily.  On the other hand I was terrified I would be a horrible "pack leader" and my life would change for the worse.

I have never been more wrong in my life.

The minute I met my sweet Crosby boy I knew he was meant to be mine.  He was meant to be a part of this family.  He just belonged with us!!!

First, let me say that we totally lucked out.  We got a PERFECT dog!  I mean it.  He came to us about 7 months old, fully house trained and cuddly as can be.  He was not leash trained but he is getting better everyday.  He does have some anxiety but hey I'm the queen of anxiety so we get each other.  And as weird as it sound I think we make each other better.  Calmer.  Happier.

Well, today I thought I might lose it all.

Today was Crosby's first vet appointment.  Everything went great until later that day.

He had a nasty allergic reaction to his rabies vaccine.

It started mildly and escalated quickly.

I rushed him back to the animal hospital.  On the drive he started hard core throwing up and acting strange.  He would no longer respond to me all.

I started bawling and begging God to save my dog.  I have never loved a dog in my life and was shocked at the amount of love and anguish I felt after only knowing this precious boy for two weeks.

The vet decided to keep him for observation until closing and gave him three shots to stop the reaction.  Waiting to pick him back up I was a wreck.  I paced the kitchen and cleaned things.  I felt like my own child was hurting.  I was so worried he wouldn't come home.

But... he did!!!!!

Even as I write this post he is laying beside me licking me so fiercely that I can hardly type and I don't mind because I know to Crosby licks equal love.

My doggy is home.

Tonight I am grateful!