I had a statement made to me awhile back that I can't seem to shake.
A statement that didn't sit right.
A statement that made me sad.
A statement that I can't believe is being made in the year 2013.
What was this unnerving statement, you ask?
"Our sons are like arrows. We must figure out where our sons want to go in life and then shoot them in that direction. But, our daughters need a different type of education. They will be wives and mothers so our main focus needs to be preparing them for those roles."
Really? REALLLLY?
I totally agree with helping our sons figure out their strengths and then encouraging them in that direction. But, call me crazy, I want those same things for my daughter. I don't ever want her to think that her only "right" future is one of laundry, diapers and Betty Crocker recipes just because she was born with a vagina.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom when she grows up. That's my life and I love it (most of the time). But, what I don't want is for her to think that is the ONLY option available to her. That somehow being an astronaut, mechanic, teacher, or engineer are impossible or inappropriate choices for her. That because she is a woman she is not capable or worthy of dreams for herself outside of marriage and babies.
I used to say that I was an "anti-feminist" but that was before I knew what feminism really was. The extremist "men drool and women rule" type of feminist is not a true feminist. That crazy ass woman is an elitist biznatch. I hated feminism because I thought it meant believing women are superior to men and I do NOT believe that. I have never believed either sex is superior to the other.
True feminism is believing that women and men were created equal and as such are due equal rights. I now wholeheartedly consider myself a feminist.
I want my daughter to know she can follow her dreams, no matter what they might be. I want her to know that being a woman does not make her less than. I want her to know that whether she wants to get married or not, be a mother or not, work or not, she is still a woman worthy of respect and love.
I want all of my children to know that they were created by a loving Creator. That they were fearfully and wonderfully made. That they are more than their gender, sexual orientation or career choice.
I do not ever want to limit them.
Our children are capable of greatness and that includes our daughters.
Let's help our girls dream big.
................................................................
I am in complete shock that this type of sexism still exists and that women themselves are perpetrating it.
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
5:08 PM
9:30 AM
Should I stay or should I go now?
Social media.
Obviously, I am not against it. I post status updates at a minimum of once a day. I post pictures on instagram. I check for updates on the regular and I love to blog (clearly).
But, there are days that I want to delete my facebook, instagram and even my blog.
And here's why:
1. I'm a sensitive soul.
There are so many times that scrolling my newsfeed and scanning my instagram reel make me feel about this big. Pictures of girls nights and parties that I wasn't invited to can trigger my shame and feelings of unworthiness. It's like a knife to the heart and a mean girl on megaphone shouting "YOU SUCK AND NOBODY LIIIKES YOU! oh and p.s. you uuuugly!". Clearly I have self esteem issues and I'm aware that these issues are my own and not anyones fault. After all, I do the same thing without worrying about how the friends who weren't invited will feel. (maybe I should stop that) Then there's also my inability to go without noticing how many "likes" and followers others have compared to how many I have. It's petty and stupid but I do it. When my friend posts a picture and gets 64 "likes" in less than 5 minutes and that picture I posted 2 hours ago doesn't even have "likes" in the double digits, I feel "less than". I might have some pride issues to work on.
2. The amount of bullshit people post that makes me want to go ape shit on them but instead I turn into a jerk who posts passive aggressive status updates in hopes that said "bullshit poster" will read my updates and feel sorry for being an ass face.
Not sure that needs much clarification but basically I get real angry at people who use their status updates to shame other people and when that happens I turn into a person I don't want to be.
3. Attempting to keep up connection with 668 (yes... I know my exact "friend" number) people makes it hard to keep up connection with the 4 people living in my home.
I had a realization this morning. When I'm on my death bed it won't matter how many baby showers I was invited to, how many "likes" my status updates received or how many facebook friends or instragram followers I had if I am disconnected from my husband and children. If my kids grow up feeling lonely and neglected because I cared more about inspiring and lifting up others than I did about connecting with them then I will have wasted my life. I am learning so much wisdom on this journey and I desperately want to share that information with all of you. But, I'm embarrassed to admit how little I share with my children. Instead of writing witty status updates and blog posts maybe I should spend more time sharing what I'm learning with the children I've been entrusted to guide through this life. Ya, maybe that would be life better spent. I'm so afraid of losing connectedness with all of you but what about my connectedness to my kids and husband? They need to come first.
With all of the legitimate ways social media is hurting mine and my families lives you may be wondering why I wait even one more day to unplug from all of it.
Even with all the bad there is still so much good that comes from social media. This woman pulled me through the deepest depression I had ever experienced. Her words inspired me to start showing up in my own life again and told me that I wasn't alone. Once you have been rescued there is a natural desire to rescue others. I feel like I have been called to share what has been shared with me. I want to help others out of the pit.
Social media has given me a source of influence. It has given me a place to share with others the way to healing that I have found. I have had so many conversations that never would have happened without social media. There is so much good that can come from something as small as a blog post or a status update.
This morning I'm realizing that it's me that's the problem. It's not social media's fault that I am sad, lonely, addicted, compulsive, angry or afraid. Social media just brings to the surface the things that were already there.
So I am deciding to keep my facebook, instagram and blog and work on getting rid of those things that it brings to the surface.
When I feel left out and lonely I will reach out.
When I feel angry I will work on compassion and finding common ground.
I will set boundaries for my usage so that I don't neglect my family in the process.
Most of all I will work on determining how I can make social media work for me and not against me.
..........................................................
Do you ever feel like deleting it all and becoming a recluse? No? Just me?
Obviously, I am not against it. I post status updates at a minimum of once a day. I post pictures on instagram. I check for updates on the regular and I love to blog (clearly).
But, there are days that I want to delete my facebook, instagram and even my blog.
And here's why:
1. I'm a sensitive soul.
There are so many times that scrolling my newsfeed and scanning my instagram reel make me feel about this big. Pictures of girls nights and parties that I wasn't invited to can trigger my shame and feelings of unworthiness. It's like a knife to the heart and a mean girl on megaphone shouting "YOU SUCK AND NOBODY LIIIKES YOU! oh and p.s. you uuuugly!". Clearly I have self esteem issues and I'm aware that these issues are my own and not anyones fault. After all, I do the same thing without worrying about how the friends who weren't invited will feel. (maybe I should stop that) Then there's also my inability to go without noticing how many "likes" and followers others have compared to how many I have. It's petty and stupid but I do it. When my friend posts a picture and gets 64 "likes" in less than 5 minutes and that picture I posted 2 hours ago doesn't even have "likes" in the double digits, I feel "less than". I might have some pride issues to work on.
2. The amount of bullshit people post that makes me want to go ape shit on them but instead I turn into a jerk who posts passive aggressive status updates in hopes that said "bullshit poster" will read my updates and feel sorry for being an ass face.
Not sure that needs much clarification but basically I get real angry at people who use their status updates to shame other people and when that happens I turn into a person I don't want to be.
3. Attempting to keep up connection with 668 (yes... I know my exact "friend" number) people makes it hard to keep up connection with the 4 people living in my home.
I had a realization this morning. When I'm on my death bed it won't matter how many baby showers I was invited to, how many "likes" my status updates received or how many facebook friends or instragram followers I had if I am disconnected from my husband and children. If my kids grow up feeling lonely and neglected because I cared more about inspiring and lifting up others than I did about connecting with them then I will have wasted my life. I am learning so much wisdom on this journey and I desperately want to share that information with all of you. But, I'm embarrassed to admit how little I share with my children. Instead of writing witty status updates and blog posts maybe I should spend more time sharing what I'm learning with the children I've been entrusted to guide through this life. Ya, maybe that would be life better spent. I'm so afraid of losing connectedness with all of you but what about my connectedness to my kids and husband? They need to come first.
With all of the legitimate ways social media is hurting mine and my families lives you may be wondering why I wait even one more day to unplug from all of it.
Even with all the bad there is still so much good that comes from social media. This woman pulled me through the deepest depression I had ever experienced. Her words inspired me to start showing up in my own life again and told me that I wasn't alone. Once you have been rescued there is a natural desire to rescue others. I feel like I have been called to share what has been shared with me. I want to help others out of the pit.
Social media has given me a source of influence. It has given me a place to share with others the way to healing that I have found. I have had so many conversations that never would have happened without social media. There is so much good that can come from something as small as a blog post or a status update.
This morning I'm realizing that it's me that's the problem. It's not social media's fault that I am sad, lonely, addicted, compulsive, angry or afraid. Social media just brings to the surface the things that were already there.
So I am deciding to keep my facebook, instagram and blog and work on getting rid of those things that it brings to the surface.
When I feel left out and lonely I will reach out.
When I feel angry I will work on compassion and finding common ground.
I will set boundaries for my usage so that I don't neglect my family in the process.
Most of all I will work on determining how I can make social media work for me and not against me.
..........................................................
Do you ever feel like deleting it all and becoming a recluse? No? Just me?
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