What do you want?

"As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him.  Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!"
The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!"
Jesus stopped and called them.  "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked.
"Lord," they answered, "we want our sight."
Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes.  Immediately they received their sight and followed him."  Matthew20:29-34

I have come across this account of the blind men receiving sight from Jesus multiple times in multiple books of the Bible over the last month.  When accidental repetition occurs in my life I know it's not a coincidence.  I believe that God uses His word to get my attention but I could not for the life of me figure out what the significance of this story was.

This morning I came across the account in Matthew after reading chapter1 of Joshua.  In Joshua I was challenged by the command to be "strong and very courageous".  Then reading about these blind men, for the fifth time this month, I finally made the connection.  These men calling out to Jesus showed great faith and strength and courage.

Their blindness was seen as a direct result of sin by those around them.  Their blindness was their shame.

It took all the strength and courage they could muster to call out to Jesus.  To draw attention to their blindness in front of everyone.  To risk ridicule, rebuke and judgment for the small chance that they might see the goodness of God.

The crowd is described as trying to keep them from Jesus.  The crowd strongly disapproved of them and told them to be quiet.  The crowd saw them as sinners not worthy of the attention of such a Holy one as Christ Himself.

But, Jesus....

Oh, those two words.  Those two words make all the difference.

But, Jesus...

But, Jesus saw what no one else saw.  He saw the faith of these men.  He saw the courage of these men.  He saw their heartache and their shame and instead of rebuking them he stopped and he called back to them.

Jesus asked them a question that we must all ask ourselves.

Jesus asked "What do you want me to do for you?"

Loaded question.

What did they want from Jesus?

The blind men knew exactly what they wanted.  It's why they had called Him.  It's why they shouted above the crowd.

They answered, "Lord, we want our sight"

They wanted what belonged to them.  They wanted their shame removed.  They wanted their sins forgiven.  They wanted to be whole.  They wanted to see the glory of their God manifested in them.

What do I want from Jesus?

What do you want from Jesus?

It took me some time and prayer to realize what I want from him.

I battle depression and anxiety.

Only recently did I realize the amount of shame that is tied to both.  It is a common belief that depression is a direct result of sin.  The crowd has rebuked me.  The crowd has told me to be quiet.  The crowd has tried to keep me from Jesus.

But, Jesus...

He hears my shouts for help and he asks me what I want from him.

I want what the blind men wanted.

I want what is mine.

I want to see the glory of my God.

I want healing and I want to be whole.

I want joy.

I want my life.

I want my shame removed.

My depression and anxiety may very well be a result of sin but Jesus has compassion when the crowd has rejection.

Jesus touches the untouchables.

He touched the blind men and they immediately received sight.

Jesus has asked me what I want and I will be strong and courageous enough to ask for it.  Even if it costs me everything.

What do you want from him?

Just ask.