No more pretending.

It's amazing the unlikely places that we can find truth in this world.  I was driving to the grocery store the other day and I heard a song from my past.  I used to listen to this song in my angsty, pms riddled, high school drama days.  Back then I just liked the melancholy melody.  I like sad things.  I'm weird.  I know.

I love anything that can make me feel.  I love to cry.  Due to my love of crying I am a sucker for 90's grunge music.  If I even hear the beginning of "Disarm" by the Smashing Pumpkins you will have to mop me up off the floor because I instantly become an emotional ball of goo.  But, I love it.  Something about sadness is universal.  Hearing someone else's heart breaking reminds me that we're all in this together.

Back to the song.  I heard this song and for the first time I really listened to the lyrics.  I started crying not because it was sad but because it was honest.  It was raw.  It was real.  It was hopeful.  I so relate to the story in this song.  I have been hiding for so long and I feel like I'm finally becoming the girl that's always been there.  The girl that I was afraid and ashamed of for so many years and for the first time I can honestly say I like her.  The girl who likes to cry.  The girl who hates to clean.  The girl who likes to pretend to be British when on vacation. (It's fun. Try it.) The girl who still thinks the roger rabbit is a totally acceptable dance move.  The girl who has really high highs and really low lows (also known as depression.) The girl who is weird and blissfully lazy.

I like her.

Finally.

Thank you Jesus for setting me free from the bondage of shame.